Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Stop Self-Sabotaging as a Business Owner

Do you ever feel stuck in the same frustrating cycle as a solopreneur?

You quit your W2 job to chase the dream of running your own business. But when it doesn’t take off fast enough, you retreat back into the safety of employment—only to feel miserable within months. Then the cycle repeats itself again…and again.

Or maybe you’re already running a business, and you keep seeing the same bewildering pattern unfold. You build a team, things seem great for a while, and then suddenly everything falls apart. People quit, you’re forced to lay them off, or you’re left scratching your head wondering: Why can’t people just stick around?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And the problem isn’t “bad luck.” The problem is what I call the habit of being yourself.

Somewhere deep in your subconscious, there’s a block causing you to re-create the same outcomes again and again. The truth? You’re the common denominator.

But here’s the good news: you can break that habit. Let’s walk through 3 steps to uncover and overcome self-sabotaging patterns.

Step 1: Map Your Pattern with Brutal Honesty

The first step is awareness. If this pattern has happened to you at least three times in your life or business, write it down.

• Be specific. Instead of just writing my business failed or my team quit, capture the details. When exactly did it happen? What decisions were you making? What was happening right before things went sideways?

• Most importantly: what fears were coming up for you at that time?

Fear is almost always the gateway. Revisit those moments and ask yourself, What was my subconscious mind saying? What was I most afraid of?

If you struggle to pinpoint it, talk it through with a friend, partner, or mentor—someone who sees you more clearly than you see yourself.

Step 2: Challenge Your Fear with Reality

Once you’ve identified your core fear, it’s time to confront it with evidence.

Here’s the thing: fear feels real, but that doesn’t make it true.

Ask yourself:

• Is this fear based on facts or assumptions?

• What evidence contradicts it?

• What’s the worst-case scenario—and how likely is it really?

• If it did happen, what would I actually do next?

For example: maybe your fear is, If I fully commit to my business and fail, everyone will know I’m a fraud.

But who’s “everyone”? Do those people actually care about your life as much as you think? (Spoiler: usually, no.) And what evidence do you have that you’re a fraud—versus someone who’s learning and growing like the rest of us?

By shining a light on fear, you reduce its power. Most fears shrink the moment you look at them objectively.

Step 3: Break the Fear Habit

Here’s the big insight: fear is a habit.

Just like brushing your teeth, your brain has gotten good at automatically rehearsing worst-case scenarios. But habits can be broken and replaced.

When fear shows up:

1. Pause and name it. “I’m feeling that old fear about being found out as a fraud.”

2. Remind yourself: This is a habit, not reality.

3. Ask: What would I do right now if I weren’t afraid?

4. Take one small action in that direction.

This is how you rewire your brain. Each time you take action in spite of fear, you loosen its grip.

It might look like sending the email even though you’re worried what someone will think.
It might look like having that difficult conversation with your team member instead of avoiding it.
It might look like sticking to your business plan instead of running back to your day job.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s feeling fear and taking action anyway.

Final Thought

The “habit of being yourself”—the version of you that keeps operating from fear—doesn’t have to stay in control. You can evolve.

It starts with noticing the pattern, challenging the fear, and then breaking the habit with intentional action.

So, friend, here’s the question I’ll leave you with:

👉 What fear habit are you ready to interrupt today?

Want to listen to more on this subject? Listen to the podcast for stories, insights, and actionable tips to help you regain control of your business.

Ready to Break Free From These Traps?

You don’t have to work through this alone. If you’re ready to stop sabotaging your success and finally build the business you’ve been dreaming of, I’d love to help you.

👉 Book a call with me today and let’s work through the traps that have been holding you back.

Together, we can uncover the hidden blocks, rewire your mindset, and set you up for lasting success.